<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7727954093703128555?origin\x3dhttp://sunsneeze.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

Archives
November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 July 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 December 2016 July 2019 November 2019 December 2019


Tuesday, 10 February 2015
If I lose myself

Now the first month of 2015 is over, and half of the second too. Just ten and a half to go.

For some reason, I'm trying to be excited about this year. And I think I actually am starting to be just slightly excited about it.

All change comes with a mix of...anticipation, fear, stress and risk. Always risk.

Anticipation
It seems that this year will be a year of taking risks. I've been sitting on it for a long time now, and it's come to a point where it's got to be now or never.

---

Fear
Does it scare me that I could end up regretting everything? Yes.
But should that necessarily stop me? That's a question I'm still trying to answer. I guess it boils down to whether I'll be happy to settle for what I have now, or if I'm willing to risk everything in hopes of something better.
Creature comforts. Most days I'm okay, and it scares me that I could risk everything to open a box that could have nothing in it. Most days I'm okay, but every day I wonder if I could try harder to get to better. Maybe that is in itself, an answer in its own way.

---

Stress
Survival, passion, reality, the journey of getting from point A to point B.
It seems that there is stress at the core of it all. Stress in finding a balance between survival and chasing my passions, stress in dealing with the fear of losing the stability I have, stress in just being.

---

Risk
I need to take a risk, or I may never settle. Maybe I'll look back at the end of this year, and find that I never ended up taking this risk.

I hope that doesn't happen, and if it does happen, I can only hope I did what I did with good reason. It scares me that this year is a massive question mark, and that everything could change - but that everything could also stay the same.

It's strange that the prospect of everything staying the same scares me, but it does.

Better a life of oh well's than what if's?

love, 02:01
0 comments