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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Tuesday, 26 June 2012
The sun's like ice

I'm going back to Singapore today. It'll probably be the last time I'll be back in Singapore in July. Probably the last time I get to live with my grandparents on a semi-long term basis (3-4 weeks), probably the last time I'll see my grandparents in Singapore.

It just seems to me that this is symbolic of me having to leave my "student life" behind. They were such a huge part of my life as a student in Singapore.

And this makes me so sad.

love, 09:38
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Saturday, 2 June 2012
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Sometimes I have all these things in my mind that I would like to say, that I am DYING to say, but strangely enough, those words never come to life quite the same way they are when living in my little mental lexicon. 

So, at the start of the past week, I had a bit of a breakdown. I have been thinking about what the real cause was. Needless to say, there never really is one sufficient cause...and there were too many component causes, I don't even want to go there. Paradox of the century, but I know, in me, what the real reason was. Frankly speaking, it scares me how things can change so much in a mere three week time frame. It was such a raw emotion of pure fear. Fear that you would be gone like how it was in the past.

The thing is, this isn't the past now. I don't know how many times I've told myself to have faith and to hold on to the knowledge that God is in control. You know, I had a conversation with a friend about "promises", and it made me think that really, nobody can ever make a promise and be a hundred percent sure that it will happen. Ironically, a promise, by default, is a promise because it is meant to happen. 100%, nothing more, nothing less. How can we ever be a 100% sure? We can't, so we don't. Make promises, I mean. Only God makes promises, and promises that we can be sure of.

I don't need a 100%. I just want your effort in my life, it's good enough for me...I already know my answer.

love, 10:15
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