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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Trust is slippery

It's that feeling again.

I don't know which irks me more, your behaviour, or my reaction towards it. Sometimes it feels like I'll never be whole again.

I wish I could just tell you to stay away from me. Maybe I don't even care? Who am I trying to kid.

This feeling of being stuck in limbo, caught between polar opposites...it's going to consume me someday.

love, 22:54
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Friday, 18 March 2011
Keep the summer feeling ALIVE



Cool pic from Jinli's iphone app! Which reminds me...I've still got two rolls of film which I never got round to processing.

Anyway I had myself a very nice friday :) and thursday night. Basically this week has been really awesome. I didn't feel stressed about anything and good wholesome conversations with friends never fail to make me feel all ready to face the world again. From the random twitter chats, to the insane amount of whatsapp messages, to the unexpected facebook messages asking if I'm alright - thank you all so much, I really treasure the friendships from all of you.

I'm just glad to be out of the emotional rut I was in the last couple of weeks.



Moomba with Jinli, Sasha, and Meiyin! Lots of fun, and it could possibly be my last moomba. What a terribly depressing thought, but I'll face it!

love, 23:28
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Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Caught unaware

The tsunami in Japan reminds me that life is fragile. We are under the illusion that we are in full control of what happens in our life, but truth is, if I were living in any of the areas hit by the tsunami, I wouldn't have known, I wouldn't have expected it.

It makes whatever I'm doing in my life seem a little meaningless, after all, if a great ball of fire were to hit us from the sky right now, would having forced myself to complete a hellish exercise on statistics this afternoon have made any difference in my life at all?

Yet, in saying that, I refuse to give myself up to not trying hard at what I do. It's so very tempting to just live life without a care in the world and just do whatever I want, whenever I want. But I just can't do it.

Lately I feel like I'm carrying a really huge burden that I just can't let go of. In light of all the natural disasters hitting the world, nuclear crises, political unrest and all that jazz, it makes me question myself. Just what is the point of holding on so desperately, what exactly am I afraid of? What exactly am I hoping for? I can't give myself a satisfactory answer. Still, I long to be happy like I once was, I just don't know how long it would last. I know I could be happy if I choose to be, but I'm just afraid that I would forget what I want, that it would change things, that it'll make the decision harder...I could go on forever, I'm just wary of getting too attached in a world where everyone's struggling to keep up with the changes.

Oh well. Everyday I thank god for providing me with so much, yet, I wonder why I'm unable to be that cheerful person I used to be so effortlessly.

love, 19:28
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