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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Monday, 14 May 2012
The time has come to wash you away


Something is still holding me back from committing. I'm not giving my best. It isn't really fair, but yet, nothing is fair, so essentially, this is as fair as it would get. I still don't know if I'm prepared to say that this would be the last.

I wish I could leave the past behind, truly and fully. I'm still caught in the middle, and I wish I could say that I would never think about all that ever again.

It sucks that there has to be so many other factors, sucks that such a simple yes/no decision should be transformed into such a complex one. I'm such a yes or no person, yet nothing in my life goes that way. Nothing.

Anyway, I've been doing a lot better than I expected for my assignments and tests, really want to thank God for that. So that means I have less pressure for the exams, but at the same time it could mean more pressure because I wouldn't want to do badly in my exams because I slacked off.

Slacking off is such a tempting notion at this point. It is.

love, 21:56
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Sunday, 13 May 2012
Love each other separately.


I have so many things to study but I can't find it in me to begin. I find a million and one things to do, trawling eBay for random things.

In other news, I love that acoustic version of Usher's climax. Been my morning jam the past week. Going nowhere~~~fast, we've reached out climax...

Really need to do some work. Just an update on Masters...It's a pretty amazing environment I'm in. Most of the lecturers genuinely care about their students, a homely building and a pretty tight knit class. I've made some pretty good friends and I do actually kinda look forward to school and seeing those faces. The workload is on the heavy side, but for the first time since year 12, I feel that I'm not in it alone, and everyone in the class is there to support each other.

The workload and contact hours I have is resulting in me leading a rather sedentary lifestyle though. I think I used to be so much more active in undergrad, with Coles, dance, gym and just going out more in general. Absolutely cannot wait for this semester to end. Which reminds me...my five exams. And with three tests still coming up the following week. Why have I got no motivation whatsoever. I actually do know why...but oh well!

love, 15:53
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Friday, 11 May 2012
This love shall be our downfall

What is up with Blogger's new interface? Maybe it isn't even new anymore, considering how quickly everything changes these days. Then again, Blogger's posting page hasn't changed since the first time I ever started blogging....which, for the record, was about seven years ago. Oh my goodness. Did I just say seven years?

It's a strange thing to be both young, yet old..simultaneously. I'm 20, but I don't feel 20. Some days I feel like, oh dear...I really need to seriously think about life, and other days. I'm just drifting along without giving a care. It's sometimes difficult to strike a balance between these two sides of me. Honestly speaking, I don't know the real reason why I accepted that in my life again. I told myself that it wasn't because I needed it. Isn't that ironic though, if I don't need it, why?

The biggest problem is that, I'm afraid I'm not really content with this. That I'm just settling for something because the alternative scares me. So I tell myself that it's not serious, that I would be able to bounce back again even if everything fails. Is that the right way to think? I don't know what's right or what's wrong with this. Or if everything is necessarily either always right or always wrong. What about the in-between? Wrong, because there always is an inherent cost in every single thing. Right, because we both agreed. Wrong, because we (I)...Right, because I need it. Wrong, because I don't need it. Wrong, because it doesn't impress me. Wrong, because? Right, because?

And, definitely wrong, because I'm thinking about it in this manner.

Sometimes I wish I could see what happens in the future.

love, 11:35
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