First Day
So, I'm going to beg for change of Specialist Math class tomorrow, I wanna go to Ben's class.
Hung out with Ben and Shin-Howe the whole day, I think I can just continue this for the whole year, then I don't have to make any more friends. This is like so what Darren described, he said he would only make friends with two people, one will be his roomate and the other will be a girl, and they would all hang out together all the time.
Derek just asked me if there are many pretty girls -.-
Sorry to disappoint, there are lots of international students, fair amount of local students.
My locker is the bottom one, again. Honestly, tall people should stop getting bottom lockers. Anyway, Ben's locker is near mine but his is next to the dustbin. It was just comical, his expression and everything.
I can't believe Shin Howe didn't take A math.
The toilets here are generally really clean. The school toilets are clean so are the public toilets.
School's really boring though, the only fun periods were Chemistry and Biology, I like the Biology teacher a lot. And I have to say this! I was sitting next to Ben and SH and just randomly asked, "help me think of a preferred name", because all the teachers have asked me if I have a preferred name. So they came up with lots of rubbish like sally and molly and the teacher started exclaiming "she so does not look like a sally! how about Sunshine?" So I was about to be called sunshine then she said "no wait! this time I've got it, I'll call you Grace".
So now, apparently I'm Grace in Biology class. What are the chances? Hi George, I now have your name -.-
I like the Library in the school, you can talk(but not too loudly) so it's a great place to kill time. I think I've hung out the most in libraries in this whole, I might add short, year! ACJC, JJC and now Taylors. I seem to kill time in the library at all those schools.
Rachel, I watch a lot of F.R.I.E.N.D.S here, because it's like one of the only tv shows that is..nice
Pigeons, Seagulls and all their shit.
Wonder whose bag got shitted on by seagulls! Wonder who...(haha)
So today, I went to school for awhile in the morning, screwed up phototaking(no surprise, it was fine but i made things bad for myself), missed out secondhand books (spent a bomb on new books), and met Tanny(that name is actually his REAL name) after "school".
He got lost.
Looked at guitars, ate at Mekong, shopped(he did), walked around aimlessly, sat down on the grass. Talked about quite a whole lot, but it shall remain unsaid here.
Went to David Jones at five(we actually spent that much time together!!), waited half an hour, no sign of his mom, went to trampoline to eat some more, went back to David Jones, saw his mom there.
Came up to my apartment, gosh, our moms totally click. Harrassed random people online, and yes, that's my day.
I must add, one of my most eventful days since I've been here.
Darren isn't really scary after all. He's just too tall, and I feel really short whenever I see our reflections.
Gonna meet Ben tomorrow before school, please let us get the same timetable.
Wearing thin
It's hard to be hit in the face with disappointment time and again. I don't know how long I'll hold out like this, or for the matter, how long we'll hold out.
Easy to use excuses like there's no time. I don't subscribe to that, there's always time, it's just whether you want to make time for it.
I'm just afraid if this goes on, I'm going to stop bothering too, because this whole thing feels so one sided to me, I'm always the one that wants to talk. And, we'll just drift off to mold into our new lives which don't invovle each other.
bye
!!
I can't believe, Laura is called LAURA. This is perhaps, an extremely sudden outburst but really!! It's just like having a friend named Cornelius, or Penelope! I mean, all those names sound so, English! Even though I'm not too sure if they are from English origin!
So, my point is, I can't believe Laura is called Laura, it's just so, Laura Ashley, I don't know. This just dashed into my mind because, in one of my posts, Rowfee and Laura are placed within close proximity of each other, sooooo you know, Laura looked really posh next to rowfeee. But I guess rowfee is a cool name too, because it's actuallly ROPHI and not Rowfee, ok I think everybody knows that, but it's for the benefit of those who don't!!
Okay, I think, I'm having too much free time. Have fun going cuckoo in Econs everybody!! :)
Hold'em
Remember all those times walking through oscars back and from Laura's place..till now I still don't get it, why walk through oscars???? I always walk outside, but oh well! Now I don't think Oscars is there anymore for us to walk through even if we wanted to.
Not forgetting the precious(I just spelt precious wrongly, oh no, I'm becoming like rowfee haha)moments spent there. Time seems to have really crept past me unknowingly. It almost seems unreal, like, can you believe we're actually here now and all the thens have since passed on and ceased to exist?
That's where the bud began to bloom, wasn't it?
Just so you know
I'm still missing that one who made me smile everyday, when everyone was too busy to care.
I really want to just shout it out to you, that though we aren't lovers and we aren't friends, you're one of the best persons I ever had in my life. But the words never seem to come out right, and you don't seem bothered anyway. You don't seem to bother about us anymore.
Guess what's really stopping me is the fear of making things worse and the fear of rejection, because the connection between us has been reduced to just a thin thread.
#22
I wonder how long it took to print those photos, but I wanna say thank you because those photos serve as benchmarks over the past few years, and looking at them just brings back all the memories to me, all the JOY we had.
Sometimes I subconsciously tinkle with that band of metal, and it just brings me so much comfort. Sometimes it catches the sunlight and gleams, the glare in my eye just reminds me how I've never given more of my heart away.
Tsonga VS Djokovic, right now. It's really hard to tell who will emerge tops again, there's just this element of surprise, luck and suspense that makes the game so good to watch. I think I'm now a full fledged tennis fan. Surprise, surprise.
I just ate a 50g bar of crunchie. Crunchie. Reminds me of FL and the time we watched Monster House two years ago. The finals were just round the corner but still we trooped down to the theatres and caught a movie that no one else wanted to catch. We bought jumbo bars of Crunchie from NTUC, and silly me brandished it around while handing over the tickets to the ticket collecter! The ticket collecter naturally stared at my huge bar of Crunchie, and I was completely bewildered for a moment because I didn't realise she was staring at my Crunchie! No outside food and drinks allowed!
Okay, that above paragraph wasn't too coherent, and was completely random.
It gnaws on the edge of my heart so badly.
Up and down
Sharapova vs Ivanovic. Tonight. Hard to tell who will win. Federer lost yesterday night.
Life is just like a game of tennis, even the best lose sometimes. It's never a sure thing. Sometimes, the hardest thing about being a success, is the pressure to have to keep being a success, isn't it.
Sometimes you look around you for things to hold on to, but all see around you is smooth stone, impossible to grasp.
You don't understand what's going on right now, personally(obviously) I feel that you have no right to be upset. But then, you probably feel the same way about me.
It's funny how fingers are always quick to point.
Maybe I should start moving on and stop trying to hold on to nothing.
Void
Empty, I completed the sentence.
All that is just my form of escape really. Moments when all my energy is channeled towards thinking about the nicest or most unnecessary yet almost practically essential item.
While everyone's wrapped up in euphoria, here I am in my reverie.
Will you really be waiting?
Wonder if the outcome would have been different had I brought it up earlier. These days, many regrets seem to surface out of nowhere. Almost like water just about to boil, all the bubbles start rising from everywhere and anywhere. It's impossible to predict but it hits you hard. Ironically, bubbles burst, but my regrets do not seem to burst and disappear, rather, my hopes seem to fade.
Flashback
In my extreme boredom, I just recalled several interesting facts
1. There was a time when Julia was called Molia, because Joy pronounced Molly in Animal Farm as MOLE-ly, and so Caleb happily nicknamed Julia as Molia due to her Mole.
2. Laura used to walk me to band in the holidays
3. I started my first blog ever because of Diana.
4. I used to think Miss Liang was my dream chemistry teacher way back in 2006. well..
5. I was actually in Higher Chinese before. Okay, I know I know, it just seems so faraway.
6. Jocelyn ever taught me how to sing Old Macdonald in chinese, goes something like:
lao wang you kuai qing cao di ar
e-i-e-i-o
ta zai tian li yang ji zhi ji ar
e-i-e-i-o
zhe ji ji, na ji ji
lao wang you quai qing cao di ar
e-i-e-i-o
7. Remember that chemistry relief teacher we once had-Mrs Martha Chew or something..She once wore all purple and Jocelyn and I couldn't help but think she looked exactly like a brinjal, all she was missing was a green hat.
8. Following up from the previous point, I used to sit with jocelyn in Chemistry class and it was loads of fun at the back of the classroom.
9. Grace and I sat together for most part of math with MR GANESAN, and it was loads of fun too, eating sandwiches and tomatoes...with Rachel and Laura the food police(councillors) always trying to stop us from eating.
10. The first thing Mrs Kwek taught us in A math was sets, and she pronounced it like sex, so it was all "universal sex", "disjointed sex"....haha!!!
11. I used to meet Daniel during chinese and we would gossip about the day's events
12. I can't remember how the clique got close together :)
I wonder if You know
Oh you, how your actions hurt me so.
What made me think this was possible?
I'm just ousted once the going gets tough for you.
Hasn't that always been the case, anyway.
And you, I think I've said this a million times to myself, but today it hits me harder, because I still miss you and I wonder if I'm mad.
Losing it
That's what I am currently, this laptop is pissing me off.
Consumerism disgusts me, but it's such a big part of life, my life. It's just so, hard to think about things like these and lead a life and still be happy on top of it all.
Just keep it going for the thrill of it, I'll miss you but it doesn't matter one bit.
You know, I'll have much prefered you to reply my mail.
Let's just forget about everything that isn't constant. There's only one thing constant, I shall focus on that and the rest can be like a tyre out flat.
Retail therapy is supposed to lift your spirits, so why do I feel so down in the dumps?
I'l just watch a dvd and leave the world behind me.
Just a little too late
I was thinking what would happen if I decided to do something reckless..
I wish you made it.
Does anyone understand that I NEED to know?
Won't you just tell me what
Thought it was behind me, but guess I'm wrong.
Anyway, thanks all, for your very thoughtful gifts, you guys are so nice, I feel kinda bad. (Rachel, your letter was so typical you!! I could almost picture you saying it in the mournful tone)
It's hard to say everything, but you'll all be missed and your kind thoughts are so deeply appreciated, even though I couldn't bring in all the cuttlefish and everything, you guys are the only ones who'll think of everything down to the very last detail!
I suddenly felt this wave of fatigue come over me. (OH no..I've got diabetes!)
Maybe I should take a nap, but then again, I'm not a person who takes naps!!
You're still special to me, and I'm happy that at least you remembered, about that passing comment.
Day of Reckoning
Wednesday afternoon with Samuel Lee was something I've never had for a long time. Anyway, to Samuel, the most annoying friend in the universe, you do have a bad temper, but it was fun playing the guitar together again.
Spent early part of thursday afternoon with Leonie and Kanin and the NUS high hostel. Played drums, piano, guitar, blah. Out most successful song had to be Canon and Zombie. Lol.
Late afternoon spent with clique and daniel on a wild goose chase. Thanks for organising it people, it was embarrassing walking around with hair like that, but it was fun! I know all of you have like busy schedules and everything, so thanks for taking time out :)
Anyway I'll be heading down to school soon/
