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So I can breathe you in
La nuit ♥
Eight years on
I'm too lazy to find a proper photo, but Fairfield's founders day is coming soon.
Maybe it's the stress from placement building up, but I feel so crazily emotional about, everything. Monday to Thursday this week was an insane period - striving to meet datelines and get tasks done whilst coordinating schedules with teachers and other therapists and programs at the school...I'm so glad it's the weekend. Today was a good breather from the hectic week, before it all starts again tomorrow. Stupid me lost one of my videos for the language samples though so I have to go back and record another sample on Monday. It's annoying because transcription of any language sample takes for-freaking-ever...and I could have done it over the weekend instead of rushing it out on Monday night. Ramble ramble x infinity.
But yes, feeling so overly emotional about anything and everything. There are all these photos on my Facebook newsfeed because of Founders day I presume, and all these waves of nostalgia are just flooding me. I also found some time to visit the soup kitchen today, and it felt so strangely like home as I swung open the wired-mesh gate and stepped through that red door. A weekly routine I had kept for so many years before. It was probably an ordinary Friday for everyone of them, but for me it was so extraordinary. I don't have the words to explain how it feels like, but I was the last to leave that afternoon, and I got that feeling that I get ever so often - I wished I didn't have to leave. It's just that these days are filled with so much uncertainty, and being there transported me back to when I never felt the same fear of uncertainty. Maybe self-doubt is a better word for it. Things have never been certain, not for me and not for anyone else I don't think. But self-doubt, it is quite a killer.
Lately, I have also come to the realisation that I have been using the phrase 'I don't know' for a lot of things.
I guess I should focus on getting through the next week and passing this placement before worrying about the things that come after. When I think about the rest of the year and all the things I have to do, it makes me nauseous.
AND (last ramble I promise)! Saving this for the end, HELLO JINLI, I just saw your comment today and I'm so amazed, I didn't even know my blog still had comments on them..or that you visited my blog. Miss the days we used to pester each other to update (lol), we really had nothing better to do. See you in Melbourne soon, and I told Sasha about your comment on skydiving/fitness first when I saw her today and her reaction was classic. I wish I could have recorded her. CIAO.
