Commit This to Memory

Waiting,

Waiting on things, it's never easy.

But the feeling that comes when things happen is irreplaceable.

You're my best friend in Melbourne and nothing can ever change that. Even if we no longer talk and even if we are hardly friends now, even if we fall out someday I'll never want to forget the times we had - just you and me.

I look back at the memories we have had, from the first time we met out by the lockers, and the classes and school events we skipped, the emails we would write, the way my phone would ring in the day and I would know it had to be you...and how we would always share everything we eat and would always sit on the same side of the table. I miss all these moments we shared when we were young and free. I miss us in the car with our seats fully reclined windows open and soaking in the cold air, and I miss us discovering things and getting over-excited. I miss the way you would do things for me like climb trees to get the greener leaves, and I miss the way we used to tell each other everything, every single thing.

I could never show that I was upset at you. Perhaps we placed each other up on a pedestal and perhaps that's the thing that caused us both to grow distant, with every unhappy moment swept under the carpet and with every hurt left unattended...and with every moment spent making excuses for the other.

We hardly talk now, I look at you and I see the same person - you still have those lips that tense up in concentration and the way you hold the wheel while driving never changed. You still like the same food, the same music and the way you dress hasn't changed. But beyond that, I don't know you anymore. I try to get us to talk the same way we used to, but there's this foreign sense of strange that I can't get past.

Then there are days where we would sit at a juice bar awkwardly perhaps, and I'll see us emerge, effortlessly. We would talk about the crazy names juice bars name their juices, and come up with a few of our own. That's when we are infinite, and that's when I know our friendship has changed but as long as I wait on it...the time would come round again, the time where the invisible walls would disappear even if just for a moment or two.

You're so important to me, and I hope that someday at the right moment, I'll be able to tell you just how important you are in my life.

love, 12:53
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