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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Sunday, 16 December 2012
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Everything seems like a city of dreams/I'll never know why but I still miss you

Is my soul large enough to contain emotions of polar opposites. It really messes with my mind and trips me up.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, and maybe I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but someday, I know I will see it.

I'm honestly not looking forward to next year. In fact I can't remember the last time I was excited about the new year. Perhaps I used to look forward to the new year when I was young...I'm talking primary school aged young. I haven't been looking forward to the new year for a long time now. New year, new beginnings but inadvertently, new endings. All the potential endings I just don't want to deal with. I suppose that new beginnings are born from the endings that I so dread, and one can't come into existence without first the presence of the other. Am I being rather pessimistic, pre-empting the new year to be filled with such unhappiness before it even starts? Judging from the way 2012 turned out though, I'm really not surprised by this pessimism.

Then again, I hope to never lose my optimism. It helps me to see the good in people even if I have reason to distrust what people might ever say. It helps me move on with my life and it picks me up from the lowest of lows.

I don't know what I'm saying. It's Melbourne. It's starting to fill me up with an overwhelming sense of dread. I can't write like I usually do, and I can't think coherently. Melbourne messes me up. The places and people that remind me of so much unhappiness, of so much that didn't make any sense.

love, 00:45
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