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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Sunday, 27 December 2009
But I do

Now he's gone and at the expense of sounding totally melodramatic, I'll say my week looks a little bleaker than it otherwise would have been.

I don't like the word 'gone'. I don't know when I started having a fear of growing up, but this fear is now stuck on me. What scares me is the uncertainty of not knowing. What irks me is my own lack of resolve, surely I could be stronger than this, stronger for myself. In any case, this fear still stays with me and I'm not looking forward to the new year. Sure the new year is great, but only some parts of it. I would love to get back into uni, see what 2010 holds and move forward. But 2010 also signifies the fact that I am once again, a year closer to being thrown out into the "real world" where...life might suck.

Alright, this irrational fear has to go. There was a time when I was excited to grow up and be able to make decisions away from the influence of the parents. Somehow, somewhere along the years from then till now, that excitement was replaced with fear. Perhaps fear isn't the right word, I wouldn't say I'm scared..I just don't want to. The only thing I'm afraid of really, should not be said here.

I'm jaded without you

Right, I should stop this depressing early Sunday morning ramble and go paint some t shirts.
It's a little late, but Merry Christmas to all! I may not sound this religious all the time but I do believe in God.

love, 13:51
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