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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Saturday, 24 January 2009
Pivotal Circumstances

God gave you one face, you make yourself another.

I've been trying to figure out what the above sentence means..more specifically, what it means to me.

Trust and Obey.

It says trust, before obeying. I terribly want to trust God in this, I've always wanted to. You know, being a Christian isn't always about obeying obeying and obeying, but it's more about trusting God, trusting he can take away everything you have and work it for good, trusting that even though nothing makes sense, He'll have a plan..a better one than you could ever imagine.
After you have that confidence, it isn't difficult to imagine that obedience would come more naturally than it ever would have come.

Sometimes you find yourself going back, and back, and back, and you get the drift... back and forth. That's when you know it's time to just bite the bullet and look only straight ahead, not to the sides and definitely not back. Cold turkey. Just do it.

I don't know what to do, I guess I can only trust God.

What I do know is, I can see where I want to be in ten years. At least, I hope that it is what I want. The problem is, I don't know how to get from point A to point B.

You know how, beneath all the happy faces you see around you, there always is a sad story behind? I realised that today...leaving dinner after summer program at church, that all these people I've just met, I don't even really know them and they don't really know me as well. We are all too happy to be real. Does this make sense? In the church we all find ourselves at peace, we all love each other so much it's enough to blot out any prior unhappiness, at least that's how I feel. But upon reaching home, I felt that heavy burden once again...oh well, this is getting a little personal.

They(not the church people), love me more than anything in this world, but do they really? It sickens me to think thoughts like these, so I'll just think about the person who touched me today. There were two actually, just that one I've known better and each and every time, she never fails to leave me amazed and loved. The other I've just met today, but she was equally...nice, sorry I couldn't come up with a better word. I want to be, nice.

love, 22:59
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