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Breathe out,
So I can breathe you in

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Friday, 3 October 2008

My eyes feel gross.

So. so. so. so. so. so. bleagh about studying. Should I give myself a break today? But then I've been giving myself breaks everyday. Why are we all so unmotivated...it's not even like as though I have all knowledge at my fingertips, in fact I don't think I've ever been less prepared for a major major major exam like this one. Well, I probably didn't study much for PSLE but PSLE was lame and you all have to agree. And well technically speaking I've only had one other major exam which is O levels. Anyway, VCE isn't supposed to be lame...and you know I just realised it's OCTOBER which means, I missed the date to fill in all my university choices properly in VTAC. Oh am gee. Well, at least I know my first choice is alright, I can't remember any of my other choices, there's a vague idea but if you asked me to quote even my second choice I'll be rendered speechless. I'm so weird.

You know I said I wouldn't blog about this, but strangely enough, that was the first thing that came to mind when I opened my eyes this morning. I think I'm just being a selfish bitch, but then, you're not much better are you? I don't really know who "you" is refering to, honestly I hate my own guts, for thinking the way I do and saying the things I say. It's funny how people always say that yes they can control something despite others telling them it'll become an addiction or worse. I'm feeling all these weird emotions when I'm alone, I'm sorry for beating round the bush like this but these thoughts are like a big ball of tangled yarn, I don't even know where the start or the end is...

Until the day you look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing, I'll hold what you said in my heart. I know, you've said many things, but just one thing I'll remember, only you and I will ever need to know, alright?

I'm being so...selfish right now. Need. An. Attitude. Makeover.
Alright, I take back all that I said in the previous paragraph. Partly because right now(yes in a span of three seconds my mindset changes) I don't give a damn. Whatever happens, I'll be calm and cool.

Right, that's what I always say...oh please, let me surprise me for a change.

love, 14:19
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